The Star Wars Infiltration of Hogwarts
by Davens
Summary: A Harry PotterStar Wars Crossover. Snape fighting Dumbledore with LightSabers? Harry fainting to never regain consciousness? Draco walking the plank? Voldemort watching Powerpuff girls? What is the world coming too!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of the Harry Potter universe,

The Star Wars Infiltration of Hogwarts

**Severus Snape** was in his quarters bored out of his mind. He snapped his fingers calling for a house-elf. There was a loud crack.

"Yes, Master Snape sir?"

"I am impeccably bored, and in need of some sort of entertainment. Can you find me something to entertain myself with?"

"Yes, sir, Master Snape, sir." There was another loud crack, signaling the exit of the house-elf.

A few seconds later, there was a loud crack.

"Here you go, sir, Master Snape." The house-elf was holding a rectangular box.

"What is it?" He was intrigued.

"It is called a 'DVD', sir. Muggles watch them in a 'DVD' player, sir. It is supposed to be a great entertaining movie, sir."

"How am I supposed to watch this… 'DVD'?"

"I have magicked a 'TV' and a 'DVD' player for you, sir."

"What is this… 'TV', you speak of?"

"It is what you watch the 'DVD' from the 'DVD' player on, sir. It shows moving pictures. In color too I might add, sir."

"Ok… Leave me be to watch this… 'DVD'."

"By my leave, sir, Master Snape sir. If you need anything else, just call."

"Ok." There was another large crack, signaling the exit of the house-elf again.

_'DVD'… What a funny word… _

**We shall leave Snape to watch his movie.**

**Albus Dumbledore** was mad, I swear to it. He is in his office watching Star Wars, yet again, and then it was gone. He checked his DVD player, and saw the DVD gone.

"Darnit! Not again!" He cackled then grabbed the PowerPuff Girls DVD, and put it in. He grabbed his Lemon Drops, and stared intently at the screen, memorizing the every move.

**Severus Snape **had just finished his movie, and was entranced by the complicated theory of this… Star Wars.

He figured out that he wanted to be a Sith Leader. He transfigured his robes, to those of black, and then made his wand into a LightSaber, and then left his quarters, intent on finding Dumbledore.

He ran down the corridors, screaming, "I'll find you, you stupid Jedi-fiend!"

The students gave him weird looks, and began whispering about Snape's mental health.

**Draco Malfoy **was walking back from Defense Against The Dark Arts, when Snape ran past him. Snape was cackling.

"Was that… No it can't be… It is! It was Snape!"

Then Draco fainted in the middle of the Entrance Hall.

**Albus Dumbledore **had just finished his PowerPuff Girls DVD, when he foresaw him and someone else, battling in the Great Hall.

So he grabbed his LightSaber, and ran to the Great Hall.

**Harry Potter **was enjoying lunch with his friends in the Great Hall, when Snape burst in from one side of the Great Hall, and Dumbledore burst in through the other. They jumped on the Head Table, and began dueling with their LightSabers.

Harry then fainted.

**Albus Dumbledore **was tiring. They took a break in which the following scene happened.

"Snape, I am your father."

"What the heck are you going on about?"

"I am your father."

"Are not!"

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am!"

"No you're **NOT!**" Then Snape continued to attack Dumbledore.

**Severus Snape **beat Albus Dumbledore in the fight for good and evil, and took over Hogwarts. Now all Snape watches is Star Wars, even to go so far as to change his name to Darth Vader (Which he dressed up as for Halloween the next year).

**Albus Dumbledore** was tied and put into a straight-jacket, and then sent to St. Mungos, to watch PowerPuff Girls for all eternity. No one objected to this.

**Harry Potter **never regained consciousness from when he fainted in the Great Hall. They left him a corner, and never thought about him again.

**Draco Malfoy **was accused of tainting the floor with drool, so he was forced to walk the plank into the Great Lake. He died. No one really cared about this though… So it's ok…

**Lord Voldemort **came into Hogwarts one day to see all of the changes. He went crazy and was forced to watch PowerPuff Girls with Dumbledore for all eternity.

**The End… (Or is it?)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Beware of the Fluffy Pink Possessed Demon Bunnies!**

**Harry Potter **was in his dormitory studying for once. It was a miracle, except for the fact that he was asleep. He was awaken by a loud thump, and there right in front of him was pink bunny.

He got up and rubbed him eyes, and put on his glasses. He saw the pink bunny standing in front if him. He went to go and pet it, and it was all cute and cuddly. But then…

**Severus Snape **was wondering, what the hell was going on. He was walking down the corridor to find the newest Potions Master to see how he was doing, when a child ran by.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff." That made the child stop. He turned, and walked back towards Snape.

"Why?"

"Because you were running in the halls."

"No I wasn't."

"I just saw you."

"That wasn't me."

"Than who was it?"

"A pink bunny."

"I don't think I heard you correctly. What?"

"A pink bunny."

"But that's not possible. There are no things such as 'pink bunnies'."

"Yes there is."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is."

"No, there isn't."

"Yes there is."

"No there- STOP! Just go, shoo now. There are no things such as pink bunnies. And if they are, then they are not in this school. They are probably with Dumbledore."

"But that was just a pi-"

"NO, it wasn't. Now go to your class."

The kid walked away, and was grumbling under his breath.

_What a stupid boy, there are no such things as pink bunnies._

Then he felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around, and saw…

**Neville Longbottom **did not have a long bottom, but he did have a long streak for being the slowest person around. Now, I am not talking about speed, I am talking about mental thinking abilities.

So, when Neville was walking down the corridor, and saw a massive mob running in the other direction, he thought nothing of it, and kept walking, until he came upon a giant shadow, and he looked up. He opened his mouth to scream, but nothing ever came out.

**Albus Dumbledore **is crazy. Like I said before he is mental. Insane. Whatever you would like to name it, he was it. Psychotic. Old. Meddling. You could even go so far as to saying he was evil, but don't say it to his face, he flinches, and hits you with his walking stick.

So, Dumbledore got out of the mental institution for good behavior, but he still had to go back that night. But, he decided to go for a trip back to Hogwarts. When he got there, he saw a giant stack of burning books in the Entrance Hall, and a pile of bodies, bones, and fleshy leftovers, in the Great Hall. And Snape was hanging from his underwear from one of the flag holders. He seemed to be asleep. And Harry Potter was now just a skeleton with a scar on his forehead. He was sitting in the Headmaster/Headmistress's chair at the Head Table. If it wasn't so serious, it would actually be pretty funny. And that was why Dumbledore was bent over laughing.

Then Draco walked over to him, and gave him a weird look.

"What are you doing here?" Dumbledore looked at Draco with a weird glint in his eyes.

"Oh, nothing." Dumbledore whistled.

"Ok…" Draco then went to walk away.

"Oh, Draco?" Draco turned to look at Dumbledore.

"What?"

Then a bag was put over Draco's head, and he was carried away by the Giants.

**Hermione Granger **was worried, she went to all of her classes that day, and was surprised to see that no one was there. No teachers, no students.

She was shocked. She went to the library to work on her potions project, when she was at the doorway to the Entrance Hall, she saw Dumbledore riding a giant pink bunny, that had a saddle, and Dumbledore was waving a sword, and shrieking like a maniac. She hid in the shadows. Something was going on, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

**Fred Wesley **was almost as worried at Hermione. He couldn't find his twin, George. He almost gave up when he heard a giggle come from across the hall. He went over to the door, and when he open it, he screamed at the sight he saw.

George was having a tea party with a pink bunny, a doll, Ginny, and Ron.

Fred ran, and jumped off the Astronomy Tower into the Lake, where he was then captured by a pirate ship, and forced to walk the plank, and almost died, but was then saved by the Giant Squid, who then sacrificed him to Oliver Wood, who then gave him to Angelina Johnson, because he lost a bet, who then freed him, but was them caught by Albus Dumbledore and his amazing Bunny. He was then eaten.

**Seamus Finnegan **was amazed at the sheer quantity of bodies in the Great Hall, he had no clue where they all came from. He turned to go back, but then saw this pink bunny. He was scared, but then calmed. The bunny hopped over to him, and looked into Seamus' eyes.

Seamus saw Demon Eyes looking back at him. He then screamed, "Demon Possessed Bunny!!! Attack!!" Then there was a mob and they killed the bunny.

**Albus Dumbledore **was surprised when his bunnies were decreasing. There were less and less at the Evil Bunny Meetings. He even found the bunnies masks which were paintings of Snape. Everyone was scared of that.

He walked into the Great Hall, to see the students of Hogwarts in battle with his bunnies. But then his nurse came. He ran.

**Nurse Helen **was getting fed up. Who knew an old man could run so fast? She almost had him when he was knocked out by a Giant Pink Bunny.

She thanked the bunny, and dragged the old man back to the Institute.

**Dean Thomas **was tired. He had been killing those evil bunnies all morning.

The Great Hall's doors opened. And in walked Hermione, and all of those thought to be dead. Dean was then knocked out by a Hippie Bunny who was so high, that he ran into walls and people.

**Demon-Possessed-Pink-Giant-Bunny #74 **was losing it. He had was fed up with all of the fighting, and the little people (the students) had killed his girlfriend. And his brother. And his brother's girlfriend. And his they burned off his fluffy white tail. That was when he started attacking more. But then he stopped and walked out. Most of the bunnies followed and they went into the Forbidden Forest.

**Severus Snape **was glad he the bunnies were gone. The only thing was… Who were all the bodies of? He looked closer at the skeletons, and saw that they were made of clay. He went and poked 'himself' and saw that it was a puppet. He groaned.

He walked away. At least he could watch his Star Wars in peace.

But right when he was in the middle of the watching the third movie for who-knows-how-manieth-time, a student walked in.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Snape howled. The kid backed out slowly, and then ran.

He never stopped running, and Snape never stopped howling… Ever.

**The End (Or is it?...)**


End file.
